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Archive for July 2010

Moment of Writer Awkwardness

It is very, very unsettling to be writing an explicit sex scene between a death metal witch and an L.A. glam magician involving a delightful male striptease when all of a sudden, one of my cats decides to walk over the keyboard right as the condom’s getting rolled on.

And it’s not even Pollywog, the glam kitty! No! It’s Bella, the monster! The one you really don’t want to have your genitals around!

She has gone on to find a worthier target: glittery hair flowers. Good. Now, back to hitting thesaurus.com for better words than “turgid.”

The Heavy Metal Bachelor Pad of Doom

I’ve seen the Black Veil Brides get spanked on another blog already, and could only get about two minutes in before clicking away in total disgust, but this post at Decibel did a beautiful job nailing just how awful this is. I can’t even begin to unpack everything that’s wrong here – L.A. Guns was never, ever meant to meet emo – suffice it to say the blogger summed it up perfectly with “pentacle-shaped waterbed.”

Joseph Gordon-Leavitt, Headbanger

Oh, this movie looks like FUN. I dug JGL in Mysterious Skin, and then loved him in Brick, and then absolutely adored him when he hosted Saturday Night Live and opened up with the “Make ‘Em Laugh” number from Singin’ in the Rain. And now, throwing scuzzball attitude in Hesher. I’d watch this anyway even if it wasn’t him in the title role, but I’m quite enjoying this departure from his usual impeccability.

Also: men in bands, the time has come to liberate yourselves from the prison of hair product and swiping your bangs sideways. Seriously, stop.

(Via Pajiba.)

Pollywog Tells All

Or, at least it looks like she intends to. That thing she’s doing with her paws is so author-photoey, like she’s ready to recount tales from her sordid kittenhood. Mind you, she’s only three years old. (Four, pretty soon.)

This pose was so awesome I had to shoot it from the back.

YA As Retroactive Programming

A couple weekends ago, I was up til 5am reading The Hunger Games. According to the Brooklyn Public Library’s online reservation system, a LOT of people want to read it.

Normally I’m not into YA fiction at all. I prefer spending time within an adult consciousness – the logic, motives, and responses of seasoned minds, and the situations they get themselves into. Not so much parental struggles and high school. If I’m going back into a romanticized version of teenagerhood, give me The Lost Boys, not Twilight. (I *do* dig S.E. Hinton immensely. But of course I would, she wrote about greasers.)

I don’t understand the current fascination with YA, by so many adults. Is it escapism? Getting to go back to a more innocent time? Stray says a lot of people are into Harry Potter to recover their sense of wonder. I can understand the allure of wanting to return to one’s formative years – the vastness of not knowing your future yet, when anything really is possible. But a lot of this stuff, I wouldn’t have read when I was at the target age, either. At fourteen, I was already deep into Clive Barker’s Books of Blood and his revolting bizarro creatures of insatiable perversity. Vampire-werewolf love triangles? No, thank you.

What ended up persuading me into this book: the arena scenario that yanked me over the “blech, YA” barrier. I love love love survival horror and very jazzed to see someone else take a run at the last-player-standing setup (I’ve seen some kvetching about how it’s a ripoff of Battle Royale and I don’t think so – the idea is too big, and too good, for only one author to play with.) I’m into dystopian fiction probably because it’s so solution-oriented – the world is horrifying, how are you going to respond? And I liked the way that Katniss Everdeen went about solving it. A lot.

Donald Michael Kraig has an exercise in Appendix 1 of his book on ceremonial practice, Modern Magick, to increase magickal abilities and talents by making you more receptive to information. It involves flipping the pages of a calendar back to visualizing a younger version of yourself and burning a sigil onto your forehead, before flipping the pages forward again.

As I was reading through the way Katniss was handling her path through the arena, I started seeing myself at her age, in similar trying circumstances, and kind of backfilling: this is how I would have handled this situation, that problem, if I’d had this information. It was a way of sending the info back to my past self to salve a bad memory with knowledge, to believe and trust that I would have made a good decision if only I’d known how. Visualization-wise, it appears as a teacup sitting at the edge of the memory. Whenever something causes the memory to get barfed back up into present consciousness again, there’s a hot little mug of tea somewhere in the picture, disrupting all regret and cringing with its warm, calm presence.

You could pretty much do this with any good book at all – or a line from a movie, or a song – but YA gets you at the age when you’re figuring out who you are. Strong stuff, when written well.

And a question for the bookfiends: would Stephen King’s “Rage” and “The Long Walk” be considered YA by today’s standards?

Little Jars of Dead Cats

It came up during the move that Sophie really needs a better resting place. And that we’re probably going to end up hauling around a collection of deceased felines over the course of our lives. Cats don’t last as long as humans, and it’s only realistic to expect more boxes of ashes, over time.

I started looking up canoptic jars for cats, in the hopes of finding something…palatable.

No.

Ideally I’d love to find something sleek and stylized, art deco, respectful and beautiful. Nothing sappy.

I can’t find anything that resembles a cat specifically, but I did find this copper urn from a potter on Etsy. I like it! The splashes of color, its formation up from a wheel, something that isn’t depressing to look at – I could see transferring her ashes here and then leaning a little framed picture of her against it.

I’m also thinking long-term, because when it’s my time to go, all these jars will be sharing niche space with me. This is not morbid! This is practical.

A Collection of the World’s Most Ridiculous Fighting Deaths

Epiphany from last weekend over sushi and plum wine and 8-bit reminiscing and oh my gods I’ve always wanted to see all the fatalities from Mortal Kombat TO THE YOUTUBES!!

I’m skipping right to 3 because 1) they’re a little more imaginative than the first two, and 2) Sindel, the skunk-haired dervish who can scream the flesh right off an opponent’s skeleton, is in it. I also dig the chick whose kiss turns into a projectile spew of bones. Very tame compared to the gore in today’s games, but back then, it was the height of awesome to boot your enemy facefirst into a ceiling of spikes.

I forgot how much fun the atmospheres were. The cathedral with the candles, the graveyard, and those floating monks who epitomize the era so well. I miss Enigma!! There was a time when I couldn’t hear their music without thinking of yogurt commercials, but I think it’s safely past now. Until downtempo beats and chanting get picked up for erectile dysfunction ads and the 90’s revival will officially be underway then for sure.

Quote of the Day

If religion functions both to explain the world – providing models for how to live, tenets of faith and empowerment, and comfort for when they don’t work – and to offer a sense of contact with something greater than oneself, then heavy metal surely qualifies as a religious phenomenon. But mystical metal draws upon the power of religious traditions without obeisance to any. One sociologist, observing teenagers’ use of metal to carve out social space and experience communion there, referred to Led Zeppelin as “liberation theology in vinyl.”

- Robert Walser, Running with the Devil: Power, Gender, and Madness in Heavy Metal Music

The Fine Art of Kittykeeping, As Practiced By Glenn Danzig

Danzig loves the kitty cats. The man who wrote “Angelfuck,” “Snakes of Christ” and “Last Caress” (I got something to say, I raped your mother today) lives with no less than four feline companions, two of whom are recent rescues from a local shelter. When one furry friend emerges from an adjacent room, Danzig asks her aloud if she’s hungry. “Her name is Ryuko,” he explains. “It means ‘dragon daughter.’ She’s the oldest.”

He then launches into a brief play-by-play as the animal makes its way across the hardwood floor. “Now she’s going into her little house… she’s really smart. There’s a cabinet in there”—he points to the kitchen—“and she figured out how to open the door… there’s shelves in there, and she goes in there like it’s her own little apartment.”

The Dark Prince of New Jersey turned to gushing puddle of adoration by feline wiles = dying to see this on YouTube. Along with the Danzig Kitty House.

(Via Decibel.)

Chateau, Over.

It’s a lovely Friday afternoon here in Brooklyn, and this is around when I’d pound an energy drink, turn up Vitalic, and run the gauntlet of Google AdManager to line up the sidebar for next week.
No more, and yay. Even though Google has been making it steadily easier for us small-biz people to navigate around their extremely complex system, it was never what I’d call fun.

Damn, nine years goes by fast.

I’m still going back and forth on this whole Fashion Advice for the Damned thing. It would be fun to talk about fashion in terms of styling and creativity, rather than just the shopping. Because as fantasy and horror are the genres of literature, so are goth and metal and bellydance the genres of fashion. A book, a dress, a movie, a room, all can be taken apart and studied as a series of design choices – why that color? why that word? – and I can gnaw on this stuff forever. Getting dressed is really just one more way to make art, abused as that sentiment has been, it’s true.

Tempting. Very tempting.