It is very, very unsettling to be writing an explicit sex scene between a death metal witch and an L.A. glam magician involving a delightful male striptease when all of a sudden, one of my cats decides to walk over the keyboard right as the condom’s getting rolled on.

And it’s not even Pollywog, the glam kitty! No! It’s Bella, the monster! The one you really don’t want to have your genitals around!

She has gone on to find a worthier target: glittery hair flowers. Good. Now, back to hitting thesaurus.com for better words than “turgid.”